So for the past three weeks or so, I’ve been doing two things before I go to sleep that are new. First, I’ve been praying again. Pretty standard fare, just typical catholic prayers, and a conversation with whatever or whoever is holding this crazy universe together. I pray for us, that we make it through this dry time financially. I pray for your health and strength like I do for my own. I pray for the grace to forgive my mom. I pray for our whole family that they all flouris

You started your classes back up today which means that your time is going to be all that more precious. You’re going to have to balance school, your picky pad business, and taking care of me all at once. I’m going to miss the extra time that we had together over the last few weeks, but I know that you’re doing this for us long-term. As I lay here, hopefully on the last few days or weeks of my bed rest and watch you handle all of the responsibilities, there’s a few things I n

The accident, like any big Life change, altered the dynamics of our love. It did this in a myriad of ways, but as I think back to the time I was in the hospital and rehab, the most striking change was the shift in who handled logistics. For most of our relationship I was the planner. In times of crisis, I could stay calm and navigate the waters fairly easy and facilitate our next steps to keep us moving forward. I took pride in doing so. But as I tried to heal and figure out

Continuing on from yesterday, I’ve been thinking about my accident quite a bit. Specifically, I’ve been trying to remember what was going on after I got into the EMS, the whole journey through the medical system, and then when I finally landed in the ICU room at Methodist. I’ve been thinking a lot about my time in that room when I first had to come to and grapple with the reality of my condition. I didn’t have the gift of foresight like I do now. I had no idea what the future

It’s the strangest thing, I’ve always grappled with the idea of forever. Whether it be in this life or after, I’ve always wrestled with the concept. Except when it came to us. When I started thinking about forever for us, even in the early days, it wasn’t a big or scary concept and it still isn’t. To me forever, for us, just meant a continuation of everything I cherished about you that day, just in a linear projection forward. In other words, I didn’t grapple with how our fut

I keep thinking back to the last normal day I could remember. The last memory that I have before that Easter Sunday when I had my accident and life changed forever. Here it is. There was nothing unusual about it. We had spent the day lounging on the sectional sofa, watching our favorite shows and talking throughout the day. The dogs were up and down, snuggling us and going outside every 10 minutes. I decided to go get us Dairy Queen in mid afternoon and came home and continue

The one thing loving you allowed me to become back in our early days (and true to this day) was simply a better man that made the best choices. Before you, I made selfish choices. Quick choices. Easy choices. But when I met you, I found myself trying to make the best choices I could make, for myself, for us and our future. It took a little bit of effort at first, but after a while, it just became second nature and suddenly, I had become a better version of myself than I thoug

When we first fell in love, one thing I noticed was that I learned to take things more seriously as it related to the future and I wanted to support your dreams. I started to look at myself so that I could be healthier and better for you each day. I wanted to give you the best parts of me that day and in the future so that what we built could have a good foundation. I had never thought that way prior to us. A big part of that was being a strong supporter of your dreams and am